Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Wish I wrote this dept. - -
T'was the night before Fitzmas,
And all through the land,
Not a neo-con was stirring,
Except JimmyJeff's hand.
The indictments were filed,
In the courthouse with care,
In the hopes that Dick Cheney
Soon would be there.
The Bushes were nestled all snug at their ranch,
While America learned and complained of the stench.
And Condi with her Ferragamos, and Scooter in his drawers,
Were drawing up lists of pliable media whores.
When out past the West Wing, there arose such a clatter,
Rove sprung from his desk to see what was the matter.
Away through the door, he sped out like a demon,
As the squad cars pulled up with their sirens a-screamin'.
The autumn night sky made it quite hard to see,
"Oh my God," screamed Turd Blossom,
"They're coming for me!"
When who at the White House front door should arrive,
But Patrick Fitzgerald and five, count 'em! Five--
G-men in gray suits and nice, shiny shoes.
Why they HAD come for Karl,
And they had bad news!
Before charges were read,
Karl fell in a heap,
If you didn't know better,
You'd think he was asleep.
But the jig was now up,
He was hoist by a Plame,
So said Karl, discreetly,
"I'll tell you the names!"
"There was Scooter and Chimpy and Condi and Hadley!"
"And Wolfowitz, too!! (This was going quite badly).
"And Scotty McClellan! He lies like a rug!"
"And Jeff Gannon/Guckert, that lovable lug!"
"And Hastert, DeLay, Abramoff, and Bob Ney..."
"And old Kenny Blackwell fixed elections, OK?"
"Don't forget James Baker, why the whole Carlyle clan"
"They were part of the group! They were in on the plan!"
"And Kathleen Harris, oh Lord, what a shrew!"
"But she delivered the goods and asked, 'Was it good for you, too?'"
"And Doug Feith and Powell knew of our work!"
"So did Don Rumsfeld, that crotchety jerk!"
"Don't forget Judy Miller and Novak, what writers!"
"Why, they had you convinced we supported our fighters!"
"And Doctor James Dobson, why, don't leave him out!"
"Put him in a cell with SpongeBob and then watch him pout!"
"And...", that's when they threw Bush's brain in a car,
They took off quite quickly, left the door quite ajar.
As Karl protested and languished and cried,
Pat Fitzgerald, in the front seat, just rolled his eyes.
"Now Karl, you see, you're not as smart as you think!"
"America's future you conspired to sink!"
"But Americans learned what you do, how you act."
"And they hired me to discover the facts!"
"Now your scheming's for naught, all your efforts have failed!"
"Democracy thrives, while you'll rot in jail!"
"You lied and you stole and you cheated and lied!"
"Why, because of your ego, thousands have died!"
"Now your freedom's in jeopardy, No more Air Force One flights!"
"Merry Fitzmas to all, and to all a good night!"
- Smelly DeCoffee
T'was the night before Fitzmas,
And all through the land,
Not a neo-con was stirring,
Except JimmyJeff's hand.
The indictments were filed,
In the courthouse with care,
In the hopes that Dick Cheney
Soon would be there.
The Bushes were nestled all snug at their ranch,
While America learned and complained of the stench.
And Condi with her Ferragamos, and Scooter in his drawers,
Were drawing up lists of pliable media whores.
When out past the West Wing, there arose such a clatter,
Rove sprung from his desk to see what was the matter.
Away through the door, he sped out like a demon,
As the squad cars pulled up with their sirens a-screamin'.
The autumn night sky made it quite hard to see,
"Oh my God," screamed Turd Blossom,
"They're coming for me!"
When who at the White House front door should arrive,
But Patrick Fitzgerald and five, count 'em! Five--
G-men in gray suits and nice, shiny shoes.
Why they HAD come for Karl,
And they had bad news!
Before charges were read,
Karl fell in a heap,
If you didn't know better,
You'd think he was asleep.
But the jig was now up,
He was hoist by a Plame,
So said Karl, discreetly,
"I'll tell you the names!"
"There was Scooter and Chimpy and Condi and Hadley!"
"And Wolfowitz, too!! (This was going quite badly).
"And Scotty McClellan! He lies like a rug!"
"And Jeff Gannon/Guckert, that lovable lug!"
"And Hastert, DeLay, Abramoff, and Bob Ney..."
"And old Kenny Blackwell fixed elections, OK?"
"Don't forget James Baker, why the whole Carlyle clan"
"They were part of the group! They were in on the plan!"
"And Kathleen Harris, oh Lord, what a shrew!"
"But she delivered the goods and asked, 'Was it good for you, too?'"
"And Doug Feith and Powell knew of our work!"
"So did Don Rumsfeld, that crotchety jerk!"
"Don't forget Judy Miller and Novak, what writers!"
"Why, they had you convinced we supported our fighters!"
"And Doctor James Dobson, why, don't leave him out!"
"Put him in a cell with SpongeBob and then watch him pout!"
"And...", that's when they threw Bush's brain in a car,
They took off quite quickly, left the door quite ajar.
As Karl protested and languished and cried,
Pat Fitzgerald, in the front seat, just rolled his eyes.
"Now Karl, you see, you're not as smart as you think!"
"America's future you conspired to sink!"
"But Americans learned what you do, how you act."
"And they hired me to discover the facts!"
"Now your scheming's for naught, all your efforts have failed!"
"Democracy thrives, while you'll rot in jail!"
"You lied and you stole and you cheated and lied!"
"Why, because of your ego, thousands have died!"
"Now your freedom's in jeopardy, No more Air Force One flights!"
"Merry Fitzmas to all, and to all a good night!"
- Smelly DeCoffee
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